willpower
2019-07-02 17:50:14 5 举报AI智能生成
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willpower
Factors that WEAKen the willpower
Too much self-control
terrified
death
feeling bad
Stress
eating healthy
doing good
Reminders of our mortality
Guilt and self-criticism
What the hell
loss of biodiversity
the ability to control the impulses that helped us become fully human.
happier and healthier
Their relationships are more satisfying and last longer.
They make more money and go further in their careers
They even live longer.
1-What willpower is and why it matters
self-control
I won't power
resisting temptation
holding you back from following every impulse or craving
I will power
I want power
ability to remember what you really want.
when you’re facing temptation
flirting with procrastination
keeps track of your goals and your desires
two minds
the version of us that acts on impulse and seeks immediate gratification
the version of us that controls our impulses and delays gratification to protect our long-term goals
THE FIRST RULE OF WILLPOWER: KNOW THYSELF
Trying to keep track of your choices will also reduce the number of decisions you make while distracted—a guaranteed way to boostyour willpower.
TRAIN YOUR BRAIN FOR WILLPOWER
meditate
5 MIN brain-training MEDITATION
Sit still and stay put
Turn your attention to the breath
2-The Willpower Instinct
Your Body Was Born to Resist Cheesecake
It’s a temporary state of both mind and body that gives you the<br>strength and calm to override your impulses and self-destructive urges
tiger and the cheesecake
derail your goal to live a long and healthy life
critically different threats
Tiger(external threat)
physiologically instinct
fight-or-flight stress response
is an energy-management instinct
It decides how you are going to spend your limited physical and mental energy
Stress hormones were released from your adrenal glands
Energy—in the form of fats and sugar—was released into your bloodstream from your liver.
respiratory system got your lungs pumping to fuel the body with extra oxygen
Your cardiovascular system kicked into high gear to make sure the energy in your bloodstream would get to the muscles doing the fighting or the fleeing
psychology
didn’t get in the body’s way.
focused your attention and senses on thesaber-toothed tiger and your surroundings
The alarm system also prompted a complex change in the area of the brain in charge of impulse control
cheesecake(internal conflict)
PAUSE AND PLAN
The perception of an internal conflict triggers changes in the brain and body that help you slow down and control your impulses.
The pause-and-plan response drives you in the<br>opposite direction of the fight-or-flight response.
HRV（heart rate variability）
under stress
parasympathetic nervous system steps in
Heart rate goes up
variability goes down
contributing to the physical feelings of anxiety or anger that accompany the fight-or-flight response
exert self-control
sympathetic nervous system takes over
Heart rate goes down
variability goes up
it contributes to a sense of focus and calm
body’s “reserve” of willpower
a physiological measure of your capacity for self-control
high HRV
have more willpower available for whenever temptation strikes
meditation
Slowing the breath down
activates the prefrontal cortex and increases heart rate variability
make you more resilient to stress and build your willpower reserve
gave them a sense of control over their mind and body
helped them find the courage they needed in difficult situations
Train your mind and your body
treatment for enhancing self-control
THE FIVE-MINUTE GREEN WILLPOWER FILL-UP
SLEEP
When you’re tired
your cells have trouble absorbing glucose from the bloodstream
leaves them underfueled
you exhausted
With your body and brain desperate for energy
you’ll start to crave sweets or caffeine
prefrontal cortex
that energy-hungry area of the brain
bears the brunt of this personal energy crisis
after impaired
loses control over other regions of the brain.
sleep deprivation creates a disconnection
The body gets stuck in a physiological fight-or-flight state
with the accompanying high levels of stress hormones anddecreased heart rate variability
more stress and less self-control
THE COSTS OF TOO MUCH SELF-CONTROL
when self-control becomes chronic andunrelenting
We need time to recover from the exertion of self-control
Stress is the enemy of willpower
terrorist attacks
flu epidemics
environmental disasters
drinking
smoking
smoking more cigarettes and giving up attempts to quit
drug use
indulging in unhealthy foods
sleep-deprived
obesity rates have soared
natural disasters
unemployment
near economic collapse
3-Self-control is like a muscle(metaphorical)
Too Tired to Resist
Modern life is full of self-control demands that can drain your willpower
THE MUSCLE MODEL OF SELF-CONTROL
people’s self-control deteriorated over time
A concentrationtask didn’t just lead to worse attention over time
it depleted physical strength
Controlling emotionsdidn’t just lead to emotional outbursts
it made people more willing to spend money on somethingthey didn’t need
act of willpower depletes willpower
using self-control can lead tolosing control
both overcome willpower exhaustion and increase your self-control strength
PUT FIRST THING FIRST
WHY IS SELF-CONTROL LIMITED?
Could willpower exhaustion simply be the result of thebrain running out of energy
Low blood sugar levels turn out to predict a wide range of willpower failures
running low on energy biases us tobe the worst versions of ourselves
giving participants a sugar boost turns them back intothe best versions of themselves: more persistent and less impulsive; more thoughtful and less selfish.
it gets a little nervous
It will keep itself on a tight energy budget
unwilling tospend its full supply of energy
low-glycemic diet
helps you keep your blood sugar steady
TRAINING THE WILLPOWER MUSCLE
a difference between what is difficult and what is impossible
our bodies give up
they literally cannot keepworking.
The muscles run out of energy stores
They can’t take in enough oxygen to metabolize the energy they have
The pH level of the blood becomestoo acidic or too alkaline
exercise fatigue
might be caused not by musclefailure
but by an overprotective monitor in the brain that wanted to prevent exhaustion.
Physical exhaustion was a trick played on the body by the mind
sensing an increased heart rate and rapidly depleting energy supply
literally puts the brakes on the body.
Fatigue should no longer be considered a physicalevent but rather a sensation or emotion
we just need to musterup the motivation to use it.
we can push past the feeling ofwillpower exhaustion to make it to the finish line of our own willpower challenges
How will you benefit from succeeding at this challenge?
Who else will benefit if you succeed at this challenge?
Imagine that this challenge will get easier for you over time if you are willing to dowhat is difficult now.
When you find your biggest want power
the thing that gives you strength when you feel weak
bring it to mind whenever you find yourself most tempted to give in or give up.
pushing our limits but also pacing ourselves
4-License to Sin: Why Being Good Gives Us Permission to Be Bad
the limits of self-control
under tremendous pressure
self-control muscles were exhausted
their willpower drained
their blood sugar low
their prefrontal cortices shriveling up in protest
how progress can paradoxically undermine our motivation
how optimism can give us a license to indulge
why feeling good about our virtue is the fastest path to vice
By seeing how we give ourselves permission
we can also discover how to keep ourselves on track.
most of us are not striving for moral perfection. We just want to feel goodenough—which then gives us permission to do whatever we want.
moral licensing
When you do something good
you feel good about yourself.
This means you’re more likely to trust your impulses
which often means giving yourself permission to do something bad
simply let the glow of their earlier good behavior blind them to the harm of their decisions.
we’re quick to view self-indulgence as the best reward for virtue
we forget our real goals and give in to temptation.
Anything that makes us feel warm and fuzzy about our virtue
even just thinking about doing something good
can license us to follow our impulses
Don’t mistake a goal-supportive action for the goal itself.
a willpower challenge involves two conflicting goals
long-term interests
How committed do you feel to your goal?
I did that because I wanted to
ask why they had resisted the temptation
immediate gratification
need your higher self to argue more loudly than the voice of self-indulgence
How much progress do you feel you have made on your goal?
self-control successhas an unintended consequence
It temporarily satisfies
therefore silences
the higher self
goal liberation
The goal you’ve been suppressing with your self-control isgoing to become stronger
and any temptation will become more tempting
pause and remember the why
WHEN TOMORROW LICENSES TODAY
Sometimes the mind gets so excited about the opportunity to act on a goal
it mistakes that opportunity with the satisfaction of having actually accomplished the goal
We wrongly but persistently expect to make different decisions tomorrow than we do today
Such optimism licenses us to indulge today
especially if we know we will have the opportunityto choose differently in the near future
Do I really want the consequences of always putting this off?”
THE HALO EFFECT
health halo
calorie-negating effect
whenever something indulgent is paired with somethingmore virtuous
Do you give yourself permission to indulge in something by focusing on its most virtuousquality?
THE RISKS OF GOING GREEN
license self-sabotaging behavior
who is the real you
5-The Brain’s Big Lie: Why We Mistake Wanting for Happiness
RAT EXPERIMENT:The pleasure center of the brain（which actually is the reward system）
That rat wasn’t experiencingbliss—it was experiencing desire.
THE PROMISE OF REWARD
Do this again! This will make you feel good
Dopamin
captive\\compulsively
manipulate the reward system to keep players hooked
The promise that the next level or big win could happen at any time is what makes agame compelling.
get hooked by the promise of reward.
THE RISE OFNEUROMARKETING
PUTTING DOPAMINE TO WORK
An unpleasant chore can be made more appealing by introducing a reward.
fish bowl.
THE DARK SIDE OF DOPAMINE
promise of reward can be as stressful as it is delightful
a carrot
the promise of reward
a stick
dopamine triggers the release of stress hormones
WE MISTAKE THE PROMISE OF REWARD FOR HAPPINESS
Test the promise of reward with a temptation that you regularly indulge in because your braintells you it will make you happy.
observations can give you greater control over what has felt like an out-of-control behavior.
THE IMPORTANCE OF DESIRE
A life without wants may not require as much self-control—butit’s also not a life worth living.
depression
without pleasure
a series of habits with no expectation ofsatisfaction
an underactive reward system contributes to thebiological basis of depression
It produces the loss of desire and motivation that many people who aredepressed experience.
THE PARADOX OF REWARD
The promise of reward doesn’t guarantee happiness
but no promise of reward guarantees unhappiness
Listen to the promise of reward
we give in to temptation
Without the promise of reward
we have no motivation.
we may find just enough clarityin moments of temptation to not believe the brain’s big lie.
Desire is the brain’s strategy for action.
it can be both a threat to self-control and asource of willpower
we can also recruit dopamine and the promise of reward to motivate ourselves andothers
6-What the Hell: How Feeling Bad Leads to Giving In
WHY STRESS MAKES US WANT
It’s part of the brain’s rescue mission
whenever you are under stress
stress prompts a fight-or-flight response
your brain is motivated to protect your life
your brain is going to point you towardwhatever it thinks will make you happy
it wants to protect your mood
Procrastinators who are stressed out about how behind they are on a project willput it off even longer to avoid having to think about it.
the goal to feel bettertrumps the goal of self-control.
stress-relief strategies
the most effective
a more effective stress reliever
The least effective
releasing dopamine and relying on the promise of reward
terror management
human beings are—naturally—terrified when we thinkabout our own deaths
it triggers a panicresponse in the brain
Stress triggers cravings and makes dopamine neurons even more excited by any temptation in sight
THE WHAT - THE - HELL EFFECT: WHY GUILT DOESN’TWORK
Any setback can create the same downward spiral
BREAKING THE WHAT-THE-HELL CYCLE
Common sense says that the message “Everyoneindulges sometimes; don’t be too hard on yourself” will only give dieters permission to eat more.
self-forgiveness sounds like excuse-making that will only lead to greater self-indulgence
self-criticism is consistently associated with less motivation and worse self-control
one of the single biggest predictors of depression
which drains both “I will” power and “I want” power.
Forgiveness—not guilt—helped them get back on track.
yet getting rid of guilt kept the women from overindulging in the taste test
is associated with more motivation and betterself-control
RESOLVING TO FEEL GOOD
7-Putting the Future on Sale: The Economics of Instant Gratification
how we think about the future
Delay the gratification
many of our problems with temptation and procrastination come back to one uniquely human problem:
delay discounting
Even small delays can dramatically lower the perceived value
BLINDED BY REWARD
bought him some extra time to cool off or at least make it more difficult to give in
WHAT’S YOUR DISCOUNT RATE?
low discount rate
They cannot resist the promise of immediate gratification
high discount rate
These folks are able to keep the big reward in mind and wait for it
How big your discount rate is turns out to be a major determinant of your long-term health and success.
The reward you start with is the one you want to keep
we really don’t like to lose something we already have
it registers as a loss.
when you start with the immediate reward (the $50check in your hand) and consider the benefits of delaying gratification for a larger reward
it also feels like a loss
use this quirk of decision making to resist immediate gratification
Imagine that long-term reward as already yours. Imagine your future self enjoying thefruits of your self-control.
Then ask yourself: Are you willing to give that up in exchange for whatever fleetingpleasure is tempting you now?
NO WAY OUT: THE VALUE OF PRECOMMITMENT
rational self and the tempted self
Create a new default.
Make it more difficult to reverse your preferences.
find a way to eliminate the easiest route to giving in
Motivate your future self.
There is no shame in using a carrot or a stick to nudge yourselftoward long-term health and happiness
MEET YOUR FUTURE SELF
WHEN YOUR FUTURE SELF IS A STRANGER
people with high future-self continuity
their circles overlap more
save more money andrack up less credit card debt
building a significantly better financial future for their future selves toenjoy
Create a Future Memory.
imagining the future helps people delaygratification
Send a Message to Your Future Self.
Describe to your future self what you are going to do now to help yourself meet your long-term goals.
Imagine Your Future Self.
hyperopia
a fancy way of saying farsighted
a bottle of champagne
I’ll feel like I deserve to crack it open when I pass the next hurdle.
Our inability to clearly see the future clearly leads us into temptation andprocrastination.
8-Infected! Why Willpower Is Contagious
THE SPREAD OF AN EPIDEMIC
an obesity epidemic
Obesity was infectious
bar tabs and hangovers spread throughout the social network
there are also evidence for the contagiousness of self-control
THE SOCIAL SELF
the self who wants immediate gratification
the self who remembers your bigger goals.
your present self
your future self
mirror neurons
sprinkled throughout the brain to help us understand the full range of other people’s experiences.
empathy instinct that helps us understand and respond to other people’sfeelings.
MIRRORING WILLPOWER FAILURES
unintentional mimicry.
also creates a sense of connection and rapport
intentionally mimic other people’s postures
make it easier to influence the person they are mirroring
The second way our social brains can lead us astray is the contagion of emotion
It’s also why television sitcoms use a laugh track
Seeing someone elseengage in your willpower challenge can put you in the mood to join them
WHEN GOALS ARE INFECTIOUS
goal contagion
another person’s behavior can activate a goal in your mind that was not currently incharge of your choices.
a willpower challenge always involves a conflict betweentwo competing goals.
Seeing another person pursue one of these competing goals can tip the balance of power in your ownmind
you can catch self-control as well as self-indulgence
STRENGTHEN YOURIMMUNE SYSTEM
counterac-tive control
When you are firmly committed to a goal
but aware that you have a conflicting goal
seeing someone do something that conflicts with your strongest goal will put your brain on highalert.
It will activate your dominant goal even more strongly and start generating strategies tohelp you stick with it.
you can think of it as animmune response to anything that threatens your self-control
Like a vaccine that protects you from other people’s germs
reflecting on your own goals will reinforce your intentions and help you avoid goal contagion.
CATCHING THE GOAL TO LOSE CONTROL
When we observe evidence of other people ignoring rules and following their impulses
we are more likely to give in to any of our own impulses
Research shows that thinking about someone with good self-control can increase your ownwillpower
WHY PEOPLE YOU LIKE ARE MORE CONTAGIOUS THAN STRANGERS
simple contagion
one exposure is enough to infect you
complex contagion
Your relationship to that person matters.
The social epidemics spreadthrough networks of mutual respect and liking
Social closeness matters more than geographic closeness.
ONE OF THE TRIBE
social proof
rusting the judgment of others is the glue that makes social living work.
we cannot separate ourselves from our social instincts
Just convince people it’s the habitof a group they would never want to be a member of.
a new strategy for discouraging unhealthy behavior:
WHEN SELF-CONTROL ISN’T NORMAL
Learning that we are “normal” can even change our perception of ourselves.
should power
hot self-control
we think of self-control as the triumph of cool reason over hot impulses
social emotions like pride and shame have a quicker and more direct influence over our choices than rational arguments aboutlong-term costs and benefits.
magining social acceptance or rejection can spur us to do the right thing
THE LIMITS OF SHAME
when the temptation is in front of you
it has no power over the promise of reward.
feeling bad intensifies your desire and makes you more likely to give in.
THE POWER OF PRIDE
guilt decreases heart rate variability
our physiological reserve of willpower
Buying green is a way to show others how altruistic and thoughtful we are
Without the anticipated status boost
most people will skip the opportunity to save a tree
BEING KICKED OUT OF THE TRIBE
being kicked out of the tribe drains willpower
enlist others in a willpower face-off
MAKE IT A GROUP PROJECT
9-Don’t Read This Chapter: The Limits of “I Won’t” Power
ironic rebound
explains many modern frustrations
the insomniac who finds herself more wide-awake the harder she tries to fall asleep
contributes to the Romeo andJuliet effect—the well-known psychological tendency to fall deeper in desire whenever a romance isforbidden.
WHY THOUGHT SUPPRESSION DOESN’T WORK
operator
One part of your mind will take onthe job of directing your attention toward anything other than the forbidden thought
The operator relies on the brain’s system of self-control and—like allforms of effortful self-control—requires a good deal of mental resources and energy.
monitor
the monitor runs automatically andwithout much mental effort
A tired operator and an energized monitor create a problematic imbalance in the mind.
you will naturally assume that it is an urgent message that youshould pay attention to.
This cognitive bias seems to be hardwired in the human brain.
We estimate how likely or truesomething is by the ease with which we can bring it to mind.
Whatever fear or desire you try to push away will become more convincing and compelling.
it will return with moreauthority.
AVOIDING IRONIC REBOUND
Give up
The willingness to think what you think and feel what you feel
without necessarily believing that itis true
without feeling compelled to act on it
we’ll see that givingup control of our inner experiences gives us greater control over our outer actions.
white bears
I DON’T WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY
This is true even when people think they have succeeded at pushing the negative thoughts away. Ironicrebound strikes again!
Trying to suppress anxiety also backfires.
THERE’S SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME
social anxiety disorder
The opposite of thought suppression
is accepting the presence of the thought—not believing it
Then shift your attention to what youare feeling in your body.
imagine the thought and feelings like clouds passing through your mind and body.
and imagine the clouds dissolving or floating by
Imagine your breath as a windthat dissolves and moves the clouds effortlessly
breathing and cloud imagery
imagined her breath as a wind that could blow through these dark clouds.
world’s most craved substances
chocolate
people most likely to use thought suppression as a defense strategy against temptation are the most vulnerable to its unwantedeffects.
THE PROBLEM WITH DIETING
dieting is a better way to gain weight than to lose it.
THE POWER OF ACCEPTANCE
embrace our thoughts and cravings
THE NO-DIETING DIET
turns an “I won’t” power challenge into an “I will” power challenge.
What could you do instead of the “I won’t” behavior that might satisfy the same needs?
Sometimes focusing on that missed opportunity is more motivating than trying toquit the bad habit.
Can you redefine the “I won’t” challenge so that it becomes an “I will” challenge?
surfing the urge of( COMPLAIN\\ criticize)
stress no longer increased the risk of relapse.
help you ride out cravings without giving in.
You can surf the sensations ofbreathing—noticing how it feels to inhale and exhale—alongside the sensations of the urge.
Surfing the urge is a skill thatbuilds with time
Surfing the urge is not just for addiction; it can help you handle any destructive impulse.
10-Final Thoughts
People who have the greatest self-control aren’t waging self-war.They have learned to accept and integrate these competing selves.
the power of paying attention.
It’s seeing what in your world—from salesgimmicks to social proof—is shaping your behavior.
It’s staying put and sensing a craving whenyou’d rather distract yourself or give in.
As you move forward
keep the mind-set of a scientist.
Try new things
listen to the evidence
Stay open to surprising ideas
learn from both your failures and yoursuccesses
Keep what works
share what you know with others
With all our human quirks andmodern temptations
SOLUTION
EXAMPLE
HIGHLIGHT
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